Eva, my former love, says I am too philosophical: "too philosophicalfor your own good," she says. (She is not philosophical enough for herown good, I say.)Thom (is it pretentious to include the "h"? I maintain that it is; Thomor Tom insists it is not and tells me that I am a snob.)Only recently, I have begun to consider not only my breasts, but also mytesticles. They generate--or procreate--while my breasts nurture, but wecan't have the latter without the former (and, of course, eggs, which Icannot supply.)Semen is a mystery to me. I understand the science. Once, I could eventell you what the chemical components of ejaculate are. I do notcomprehend the poetry of semen, though, or the metaphysics, if there isany longer such a branch of philosophy. (Logical positivism andscientism may have vanquished the study of first principles altogether;like the speaker in Eliot's "Wasteland," I am not sure.)Understand this, if nothing else: having both female breasts and malegenitalia is a hoot! It. Sometimes, after a long drive-in movie or heavy petting up in the woods in a car, it took everything she held dear for her to stop, to fight off her urges and the boy and will herself back to calmness so that she could control her passions.So she loved her mother, respected her and stayed chaste because of her, and while she complained and fought now and then as any two people will do when together, she understood and appreciated the strain and burden that raising a daughter single- handedly can bring. Like that afternoon, for example, when that adorable man came to rent the apartment. She bitched and moaned about having to dress and watch the shop, and her Mother snapped back at her, but it meant nothing. It was just part of their way, and let the steam out, for when the big problems arose, they were always together, always communicating. No generation gap between them!Wendy thought of this as she stood in the livingroom of Clyde Brook's home, looking at Clyde and then at herself,.
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